I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
