Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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