Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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