she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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