i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
