yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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