fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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