Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
