Porn is love you can see.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
