So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
