I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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