i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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