Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
