We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Farmville is her only friend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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