I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
