i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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