Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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