I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I faked an abortion last night.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
