The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
