is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
