I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
