I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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