what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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