with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
