a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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