My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
there is glitter all over my balls
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
