Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
