Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
