just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
