The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
