I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
