You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
