i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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