Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
