She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
