May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She announced her abortion via fbk
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
