And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
