found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
