My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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