Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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