My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
