Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
