I seem to have left my pride at pride
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
