if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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