Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
