How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
