he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I could fuck to npr.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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