Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
