Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
