Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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